Friday, 19 February 2016

Walk in the Sun

Before I get in to this post I just want to thank everyone for the amazing response to my last post. I am so completely overwhelmed by everyone's support and love and it really chokes me up knowing that people do actually give a damn. I spent so long in silence because I didn't want to be a burden on anyone but the relief I feel now is incredible.
However, this last week or so I haven't been feeling too good. I'm not sure why but anxiety has felt high pretty much constantly and it's made getting up difficult again. At the start of the week I went into town with my mum and whilst I was pretty calm out, by the time I got home I felt pretty drained. The following day was the worst I've had for a few weeks. I couldn't be bothered getting up or eating and just lay in bed all day. So yesterday, whilst it was sunny, I decided to go on a walk. I planned out a route, wrapped up and headed out. I went to put some flowers on my grandparents grave as I'd not been in a while and then headed into the park. I walked through the park and towards a pond that my grandma used to always take us to when we stayed with her. From my memory the area never looked that great and it was always a bit shady and grim. That was probably about 15 years ago. I got there and they've completely opened it up and it looks lovely. There's was a big group of ducks, the sun was shining through the trees and it just felt so peaceful. I stood there for a while just watching and listening and I just felt so chilled and relaxed. I didn't think about anything whilst I was there and it was so calming. I couldn't quite believe a place so nice is where I live!
I then took the longest, quietest way home I could find. I ended up being out for two hours. Usually when I'm out and about I will put headphones in but I didn't. Just listened to everything around me. It was just so lovely.
And the cuppa I had once I got back home was phenomenal!
So I'm going to make more effort to walk and I'm especially keen to go back and chill near the pond. Kind of glad I've found a little escapism place. It's made me feel relieved and calm that I know there's somewhere I can go when things are too much. And hopefully this low patch I'm in will lift up again soon.

Also, this week I read a book by Matt Haig called Reasons To Stay Alive. A friend recommended it to me and I found it in Tesco for £3.85!! I couldn't put it down! It's a very real and honest account of his experience with depression and anxiety. It's incredibly eye opening and inspiring and I would recommend anyone reads it. Whether you have struggles, know someone who does or has completely no experience. I feel everyone can learn something from it and then maybe we can finally end the stigma.

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